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what it is to tame a lion by ~emptyluckystrange:iconemptyluckystrange:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Urban > Open




12am rapid eye movement

cars speed down an instinct interstate
a little slower than they once did;
in the distance, city glow.
here only bad talk radio bathes
coffee stained seats
decorated with cigarette burn mosaics.

9am zombie walk

cattle chatter clatters to the floor,
where yellow light burns tired eyes.
chipper idiots dance to the sound
of a corporate drummer
in eternal accelerando.

6pm microwave dinner dementia

in an aquarium
where vibrant colors did abound,
green algae lurks.
a dull fish paddles belly up.

10pm metropolitan lullaby

staring at the cracked ceilings
of train noise tuesdays,
the city stench fades.
©2004-2009 ~emptyluckystrange
:iconemptyluckystrange:

Author's Comments

workaday slow death


--
edit: reworded to reduce words of temporality as suggested by !ndifference. better or worse?

p.s.
does anyone know the proper punctuation for the first line of stanza one and the first line of stanza three?

Daily Deviation

Given 2004-04-07

what it is to tame a lion by ~emptyluckystrange In the words of wernstrum, "There are moments in life in which it seems like you are stuck running on a mouse-wheel. In times like these we all need some level of understanding from others. This poem provides a looking glass into a model of the world. It may not be pretty, but chances are you will still re-read it. A lesson in poetic styling, this is the sort of piece you put up in your cubicle." (Suggested by `wernstrum and Featured by °jsenn)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconr1ta:
~r1ta Mar 20, 2004, 6:09:07 PM
cattle chatter clatters to the floor,
while yellow light burns tired eyes.

My favourite part! Wonderful!
:iconeyespy:
~eyespy Mar 20, 2004, 6:46:25 PM
Eye love it! Eye must add it to m'eye Eye collection!

--
Eye would love it if you sent me a link with your eye in it. Eye would love it if you sent me a link with your friends eye in it. Heck eye would love it if you sent me a random eye. Eye love eyes. can you tell>?
:iconlengleng:
~lengleng Mar 20, 2004, 6:49:58 PM
progression seems to be right on key here. imagery is sharp. the words seem to be careful to keep themselves from going over the top, just a brim full at times. excellent work. get drunk and get to your stage more often, i'll be dancing beneath it.
:iconwildoats:
`wildoats Mar 20, 2004, 6:56:34 PM
Viagra for my poetic ED.

--
A picture, like a human, will speak a thousand words, and never say a goddamn thing.
:iconlengleng:
~lengleng Mar 20, 2004, 6:59:57 PM
3/4 by the way i sent this bitch wildoats, he never gives me my props, i write half of his poems for him hah.
:iconmissyhill18:
~Missyhill18 Mar 20, 2004, 7:53:32 PM
Alrighty....this is my favorite I've EVER read on this website so far. Good job with the creativity, and your structure. You're use of words is so artisticly subtle. You have such a power/control within this entire poem, all facits of it, that I cannot deny it true nature. And that is that it is one f'ing GREAT poem! I'm adding it to my fav's....and you too my friends!

Sincerely,
~:blackrose:Missyhill18
:iconenigmaticreceptacle:
~EnigmaticReceptacle Mar 21, 2004, 10:53:34 AM
The structure and progression here are superb, not to mention the very clever subtitles for each stanza. A lot of excellent social commentary as well. Sharp shit.
:iconjustb:
~justb Mar 21, 2004, 12:29:38 PM
I like wildoats comment.

--
"I've taken enough walks alone
to know how real nothing is."
~dystopian-dream-girl
:iconfollowingorwell:
~followingOrwell Mar 21, 2004, 6:49:05 PM
I like it. This message has been said before, but it needs saying in fresh words like these.
The fishtank image is my favorite. It reminds me of what I think about post-industrial culture.
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